


our love is only like

by arrows



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Drabble, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-27 03:04:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10800366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arrows/pseuds/arrows
Summary: There are times, though, when the weight of remembering isn’t so heavy — when, instead, she has to laugh. It’s like an inside joke with herself, to remember what they’ve forgotten. Not in any malicious way, just —Merle keeps flirting with her.





	our love is only like

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr prompt (from an 'a softer world' poem): "our love is like. our love is only like. (i like you. i don’t LIKE like you.)"

There are times when it kills her to remember. Lucretia has had to separate herself, compartmentalize — she is the Director when at work, and she’s always at work. She makes work her life. The Bureau is her penance; one long apology letter for her sins, written to those who can no longer read it. She did what she had to do — she truly, completely believes that — and yet. The weight of it crushes her shoulders, stoops her posture. She uses her staff as a cane, nowadays.

There are times, though, when it isn’t so heavy — when, instead, she has to laugh. It’s like an inside joke with herself, to remember what they’ve forgotten. Not in any malicious way, just —

Merle keeps flirting with her.

Merle keeps flirting with her, and the issue is she can _remember_  — a century is a long, long time, and they’d all had flings and longer relationships within that time (Lucretia, herself, had always been drawn to Lup, had tangled herself within Lup and Barry’s relationship and been happy there). But Merle, Merle had attached himself to Davenport (then a captain, rather than a wordless servant — a pang of guilt runs through Lucretia every time she thinks of it, but she’d _done what she had to do_ ) in one of the early cycles, and though it had taken a decade or so for them to admit their feelings, it had been clear the two of them were a couple.

The rest of them had had arguments, drama, relationships torn apart and taped back together (again — a century is a long time), but Merle and Davenport had been a constant. Lup had joked they were the ship’s gay dads, and she hadn’t been entirely wrong. Every ship needs a couple gay dads to keep everyone else on track, Lup had said, and made it sound so wise Lucretia hadn’t questioned it.

Now, though, Merle doesn’t know that, and Lucretia looks old enough to be a viable flirting target for him (thanks to Wonderland, more a blessing than a curse — a century of remaining identical is unnerving, to say the least, and to appear slightly more equivalent to the amount of shit she’s experienced is almost a _relief_ ), and Davenport does not speak, and —

Merle is still talking. He uses a line she’s fairly sure she remembers from a century earlier, though it had certainly not been aimed at her then, and she sighs, half to keep from laughing. (It would be funny, if it wasn’t bordering on tragic.)

“Merle.”

Lucretia interrupts him, unhesitatingly and yet somewhat reluctant. She puts her mind into work mode — she, technically, is his boss now, despite being hardly twenty-two and shy as anything when they’d first met on the Starblaster. Being his boss, she has to set boundaries. Has to stop accepting invitations to spa days with her old friend, probably.

(She recalls a time, nearly a century ago, when he’d told her she would be a good leader, and almost has to laugh again at the irony. How right he was, and how he doesn’t even know it.)

Merle shoots her a grin that’s far cockier than it should be, and she steels her tone. Being sterns is no longer a struggle for her. She has come far from the quiet journal keeper she once was — she’s had to. 

“You’re not — I need to make this _abundantly_ clear, so please, listen closely.” She chooses her words as carefully as always, keeps a straight face. “I appreciate your friendship more than you could _possibly_ realize, and I am glad you seem to, as well, but. I  _am_ your employer. As such, anything more would be, well, _inappropriate_ , to say the least.”

She pauses, raises her eyebrows. “What I mean, to put it in grade school terms, is that I like you, but I don’t _like_ like you. Understood?” She smiles at him, placidly, friendly in the way her eyes wrinkle at the corners.

Merle smiles right back. “Got it, cap’n.”

“ _Director_ ,” she corrects, rolling her eyes. Captain still brings Davenport to mind, despite everything. She, despite her fairly newfound confidence, still has no right to bear his title.

If she forgets about that, for a little while, though — if she forgets their pasts, and lets Merle simply be her friend, whether a friend from then or a friend from now. Maybe things can be simple. Maybe she can give that a try.

“Aye-aye, d’rector,” Merle says, and salutes. Lucretia doesn’t try to suppress her laugh, this time.

**Author's Note:**

> — i'd die for lucretia.  
> — catch me on tumblr @dealwarlock!  
> — constructive criticism is welcome & comments are my lifeblood. this is quick and unedited, so if you notice any mistakes please let me know.  
> — (quick side note to say sorry to those of you following 'remember to breathe deep' for the two weeks without updates — i just moved into a new apartment and don't have wifi, so i haven't been able to finish the next chapter, but it will definitely be continued! it should be up next week, so long as things get less hectic. in the meantime, i'll likely be posting more of these quick prompt drabbles!)


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